I wasn’t sure about starting this blog at first. I’ve tried numerous times in the past to keep one and they’ve always run out of steam before too long. Even with this attempt something seems to already be working against me as this is actually the second time I’ve wrote this post. The first draft showed as saved on the website but then promptly disappeared off into the ether. I can’t really remember most of what I wrote so I can only assume it was long and rambling (not that this will be any different as, let’s face it, I do like to go on a bit!).
I won’t lie, this could just be another one of those ideas we all tend to have at the start of a new year that thrums along great for a few weeks of January before the realisation that we’ve gone in too enthusiastically (yet again) sets in. You know how it goes. You blow through all that energy you stored up over the holidays in no time and somewhere around the 23rd it dawns on you that, actually, you’re not as up for it as you thought.
Hopefully that won’t be the case as I could use a place to put more long form posts about updates and WIPs, and this seems as good a place as any to do that. I’ve tried putting that kind of content on Facebook and Twitter for a while now but both platforms feel pretty ill suited to it; Character limitations, image limits, posts being suppressed and not being shared out to all followers for whatever reason, consistently asking for money to show it to more people. It’s just not really good enough. So it seems kind of pointless to continue using those sites for this when I can just consolidate it all here, go into much more depth about what I’m doing and probably receive better feedback.
I do have another reason for wanted to start this blog too however.
Over the past year or so I’ve been finding myself losing an enormous amount of passion for drawing and painting. Something I can attribute, in part, to working on several projects in quick succession that have either got cancelled or simply stopped communicating with me. I think a greater contributor though is that I’ve also realised that the industry I grew up with and that inspired me so much has changed in ways that no longer really appeal to me. I think, after all these years, I may be chasing a dream I no longer really want.
I’ve changed as well and, ultimately, I think the reason I’m doing this now needs to change or I really will end up a jaded mess; too mentally exhausted to make good decisions and blind to see good opportunities.
I’d imagine this all sounds a bit strange coming from someone who recently had a commission from an industry giant. Which was wonderful by the way and I can’t understate how much the opportunity meant to me. I feel I need to make that clear as I know quite a number of people that follow me are beginners and I don’t want to put you off. My experience won’t be and shouldn’t be your experience and if anything that opportunity is proof that good things do come from persistence. At the end of it all though, and without getting too flowery, it wasn’t quite enough to reignite a dying flame. Behind the scenes I’ve really been burning out.
There was a point last year where I’d honestly never been closer to setting down my Wacom pen for good and just walking away from it all. But even at the lowest ebb there was a part of me that kept coming back to the tablet, sticking on some music and just seeing what happened. And that’s really what I’d like the other part of this blog to be. I want to take a step back and try, for the most part, to just do this for myself for awhile. There is stuff from my other creative pursuits that I’d like to ideally share too as they really do feed into one another and are great change of pace when inspiration for one or the other is really running dry.
So hopefully this blog will end up documenting that journey as well, wherever it may lead. Perhaps that purpose alone will keep it alive.
Anyway, that really is enough for an introduction. I hope everyone enjoyed the holidays and Happy New year to you all!
See you soon!